Showing posts with label nebraska. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nebraska. Show all posts

Friday, September 23, 2011

Nebraska High School Grinds To A Halt

(OPINION) - The kids at Lincoln's Southeast High School have been put on notice for this year's homecoming. Any student caught engaging in pre-cum inducing dance maneuvers (aka grinding) will politely be asked to leave the premises. Yawn.

If you're like me, you never attended high school dances because you felt like they were sterile affairs meant for people who got high on the approval of their knuckle-dragging peers. Also, after my girlfriend accidentally carved her initials onto her teacher's face during a field trip misunderstanding, she was prohibited from ever being near school property again. So, I could never bring a date anyway.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

9 Year Old ADHD ‘Scatter Brain’ Literally Scatters Brain

Scatter Brain
LINCOLN, Nebraska - Disaster struck Zeman Elementary school Friday afternoon, as Tanner ‘Scatter Brain’ Watts' tiny body fell off the roof of the school while attempting to chase a butterfly. Witnessing the bloody and horrific event were hundreds of fellow students and one annoyed janitor.