9 Year Old ADHD ‘Scatter Brain’ Literally Scatters Brain

Scatter Brain

LINCOLN, Nebraska - Disaster struck Zeman Elementary school Friday afternoon, as Tanner ‘Scatter Brain’ Watts' tiny body fell off the roof of the school while attempting to chase a butterfly. Witnessing the bloody and horrific event were hundreds of fellow students and one annoyed janitor.


Tanner suffered from severe ADHD aka Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Doctors had prescribed the child Adderall, a drug which subdued his intense ADD or Attention Deficit disorder. While generally safe, the drug can cause the side effect OFD aka Overactive Focus Disorder. OFD causes children to focus too intently on on one subject or object, which can lead to deadly results. This condition is known in the medical community as ADHD ADD OFD OD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Attention Deficit Disorder Overactive Focus Disorder Over Dosing. One in 11 cases of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Attention Deficit Disorder Overactive Focus Disorder Over Dosing is fatal.

“[Tanner] must have climbed up using one of the pipes on the side like all the other mo'f--ks do when I’m not looking,” said Brick Stello, the school's janitor for over 22 years. “I’m surprised something like this hasn’t happened sooner. These damn kids are always popping pills and running off overly focused on all kinds of mundane boo'$hit! If any more of these tiny bodies fall off the roof, I'm gonna have to put in an order for more sawdust. I don't have an unlimited amount of sawdust, and the school's sawdust budget keeps getting slashed cause this economy. Times is tough all around, I suppose.”

Terry 'The Nickname Kid' Billsworth

Many of the one hundred young witnesses were emotionally unharmed, as they were all focusing on different activities at the time. One 11-year-old student, Terry ‘The Nickname Kid’ Billsworth had this to say, “It’s kind of impressive how [Tanner's] head exploded when it hit the concrete considering it was only a one story drop ... maybe 10 feet? I’m just happy I don’t have to give him another nickname. I’m swamped as it is with the new exchange students coming in this week.”

R.I.P. Tanner ‘Scatter Brain’ Watts aka Tanner ‘Scatter Brain’ Watts. 2002 – 2011. You will be missed.

@ryancownie is TBN's Lead Dead Child Reporter. Some of the names have been changed to protect the children from their real name