How to treat a Woman

(CeeWord) -The very funny Kat Ramzinski has written an article that should put all you hetero male (or masculine top) readers on notice.  If you don’t respect a woman, losing control of the relationship is the least of your worries.  Here are some tips on how to make sure your woman never needs to go to Kat for advice.



1) Be open to understanding the subtext of her communication.  For instance, if you want to make some sweet love and she’s got a headache, be respectful.  Get off your ass and go get her some aspirin, a glass of cool water, maybe a damp rag for her head.  Handle the business for a little while so she can focus on feeling better.  Then try again. If she still don’t wanna get at least a little nasty, that’s woman code for “fuck whoever you want, just don’t let me catch you.”  She knew you were a fucker when you met and she knows you need fuckin’.  If she don’t wanna be the one to do it, that’s her choice.  Respect that.


2) A woman is never a possession, but she can be a treasure. And you should treat her like one.  If she’s not on display, lock that shit up tight.  Put in an alarm system for her safety, as long as it tells you how many times the doors were opened when you weren’t around.  Pay for her cell phone so you can make sure the GPS tracking stays on.  GI Joe said knowing is half the battle.  The other half is making sure she doesn’t know you know.  You know?


3) Let her win.  This is easy guys.  Put your pride aside.  The Vitmanese taught us a tough lesson and it’s worth repeating now:  You can win every battle and still lose the fuck out a war.  She wants blue plates? She don’t wanna hang with your Moms?  Whatevah whatevah.  You know and I know you don’t give shit.  Put up a good fight so she feels like she won something when you give in, but let her win.  When it comes down to something really important, you can say, “Baby, I feel like most of the time I come around to your point of view but this time I really need you to see things my way.” And if that doesn’t work, time to move on to the next one.  


4) Keep your friends close and your woman’s friends closer.  I don’t care if you hate that bitch Denise with the fire of a thousand suns, you make nice.  You consult her when your woman’s birthday is coming up.  Throw a surprise party just so you have something to let her in on.  When your girl starts to suspect you’re steppin’ out, she’ll start by asking Denise.  Denise will tell her she’s lucky to have such and awesome man and she should be ashamed for not trusting you.  And when the shit does hit the fan, you might find out Denise was such a bitch because she was jealous.  And there is no sweeter lay than a your-ex’s-best-friend lay.


5) It’s all about give and take.  If she’s giving head, you should give her some head.  If she isn’t giving head, take your ass to somebody that will.  ‘Nuff said.

6) It’s never OK to hit a woman who isn’t armed.  If she picks up something and comes at you, defend yourself.   If she’s empty-handed, eat the first one and tell her she hits like a girl; bet she will lay hands on something.  (never try that line in the kitchen or near a hot grill)  Don’t ever Lionel Richie for a bitch.

All in all guys, women are pretty easy to figure out.  You want their attention, ignore the fuck out of them.  You want to fuck’em? Tell ‘em you wanna wait until it feels right.  You wanna get rid of one?  Pay her all the attention she can stand and she’ll walk in a week.  EZ Peezy.   


CeeWord  out.