Crocs Enthusiast Of Today

Who has two feet and Crocs? This guy (above)! The way I look at it: rebelling and liberating doesn't mean you can't be comfortable. Between throwing Molotov cocktails, this guy decided to throw on a pair of Crocs. That's why this guy (above)! is our Crocs enthusiast of today.

Video Of Today - 8/21

Well there are football players who make millions and cant handle balls like this. Good for her!

Video Of Today

Notice the camera shaking? That's life in the trailer parks. Someones older sister is going to be pissed they stole her underwear, and her baby. Sit back and watch something David Lynch could only dream of directing.

Pet of the Week: Looking for love?

Try standing directly under the bowels of Justin Timberbat!

Totes Cute; Amirite?!!!

Gold Medalist Squashed by Fat Kid During Leap Frog Championships

Conrad Walker in TIMEOUT Pen Yard

(Québec City, CA) - Tragedy struck the annual Leap Frog Championships this past Friday, as Canadian Leap Frog captain Sally Blininings, 10, was brutally squashed by her obese team assistant captain, Conrad Walker, 9. 

Sally, three time gold medal winner, was declared squashed as leap frog enthusiasts looked on.

I wonder if God looks at Evangelical Christians the same way I look at baby pageant competitors.

The Modern Man

The Modern Man Says: 

"I Wear The Baby In This Family."

Upcoming Pet of the week: Avant Garde Dog

Fashion is a Bitch.

Yes Dear: A Guide To Pleasing Your Mate

Sassy Diva

A Prequel To Gaining Control Of Your Shit

Kat Ramzinski

Whether you're a sassy diva, a homely door mat, a Mary-Kate, an  Ashley, or even a Cybil (dissociative disorders with a decent rack), there is a pretty good chance that finding a stable relationship will be pretty goddamn tough. In fact, a lady on the talk radio once said that we're all totally fucked and will probably end up lesbians. I say, they can't send us ALL to jail!

How to treat a Woman

(CeeWord) -The very funny Kat Ramzinski has written an article that should put all you hetero male (or masculine top) readers on notice.  If you don’t respect a woman, losing control of the relationship is the least of your worries.  Here are some tips on how to make sure your woman never needs to go to Kat for advice.

Factiod - Drinking

There is a certain amount of grace you have when you are #drunk, problem is that it doesn't apply to the real world.

Factoid - Horses

Horses are just Unicorns who gave up on their dreams.

The Perfect Man-ic : Pet of the Week Daniel Raderpillar

Daniel 'Two Face' Raderpillar

(TBN) - The beautiful face(s) of Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe - check!.  The body of a flexible, delicate, supple caterpillar - check!. The horn of a majestic purple unicorn - double check!

It's official, this week's eligible pet is a total DRILF! JK LOL.

Here You Go Nerds!

Nothing like a little nostalgia.

Child Arrested After "Big" Style Gypsy Curse

Charles, 7, Mugshot

(TBN) - In a story of life imitating the movies, Charles Grungle has been released from prison after authorities learned he was not a pedophile, but he was actually a 7-year-old child who had been the victim of a "Big" style gypsy curse.

Police officers first became aware of Charles (left) when citizens started to report seeing a grown man making out with a small child all around town.

The small child turned out to be 10-year-old Macy Dillon, the girl he was going steady with.

Social Commentary Sunday: Obama

Someone Raise the TOOT CEILING!!!

Social Commentary Sunday: Religion

Ewww

Q: Why Was Jesus Good With Sheep?

A: Because the power of Christ compels 'ewes'!

Social Commentary Sunday: Art

Pull My Finger

12-Year-Old Con Man Sentenced To Death

(Waco, TX) - Detectives apprehended Kenneth Dillard Wess, 12, who had been on the lam for the last two months. According to reports, Wess allegedly duped neighborhood poster-child Adam Psalm Eve into purchasing an extremely rare, limited edition X-Men comic book - issue 143. Adam paid the outrageous price of three Pop Rocks, two Ken Griffey Jr rookie cards, a “Win a free Sprite” bottle cap, one booster pack of Magic The Gathering playing cards and the shirt off of his back (see picture to left).

This Week In Rick Perry

(TBN) - Rick Perry recently revealed that he had adult stem cells injected into his spine to speed up the time it would take for his back to recover from last month's surgery. Critics are upset with the Governor for using his social standing to promote a controversial procedure that has not yet been scientifically proven. However, it should be noted that as an Evangelical Christian, blindly promoting  unproven things is what Rick Perry does best.

Breaking News - Economy Found Dead

(TBN) - In the wake of S&P downgrading the U.S. credit rating, The Economy was found dead in his apartment early Saturday morning. Neighbors reported hearing moaning and wailing, followed by multiple gunshots. EMTs arrived and pronounced The Economy dead at the scene. 


Friends of The Economy say they knew he had been suffering from depression for a while, but are shying from speculation that this was anything more than an accident. However, witnesses reported hearing someone who sounded like the Economy yell out between gunshots, "why am I not dead yet? Are you kiddin' me!" and "Oh thank god, I'm dying. I'm dying! Wait, I'm going to miss the next episode of Breaking Bad? I wish I was dead! Are you kiddin' me! Oh good I am d..."

Blast From The Past: Planking

whales have been planking for years. 

(TBN) - Remember the good old days, when kids use to die in respectable ways, like choking themselves while masturbating? Well, step aside suffocated orgasm, there’s a new kid-killer on the block: Planking!

Tall-Tee Wearing Thugs Forced To Claim Sexuality As Homo ...

(RYAN COWNIE) -  This just in: All Tall-Tee wearing ‘Thugs’ forced to claim sexuality as homo after TMZ reported Elijah Wood will play Tony Montana in the upcoming remake of Scarface.


@Ryancownie is TBN's Lead Celebrity Gossip reporter. 

Tragedy Plus Time = 30 Minutes Or Less

If you're a fan of bombastic humor, you are gonna love this remake of this 2003 news story. Sure someone had to die so the studios could fill their pockets, but that's how posthumous fame always works. Taking a page out of George Carlin's book, the scriptwriters realized they had to take a serious message and zany it up so that every one could enjoy and learn from it. Kids. Adults. Stoners.

Sure, Schindler's List won some award or something, but if it had been a comedy - say Schindler's Set List - more people could have guffawed their way into tolerance and understanding. Cheers to the studios for putting this man's story out there. Cheers to the studios for putting the 'Art' back in artistic license.  Cheers for getting the movie out just in time for the 8 year anniversary of this tragic event!

This week in Latin News

Dave Matthews Fans

(Tu-Vez) - Look out Colombia, this summer is about to get steamier. Same sex couples could soon have the “ability to formalize their unions before a notary public.” How romantic does that sound? I feel like every young, South American homosexual dreams of one day being lawfully formalized by a notary official inside a dank, wood-paneled boiler-room. After saying “I do,” the only real question left is whether the Vienna sausage and jalapeno popper appetizers were too gauche for the occasion.


(read more)

Sleep Study - A True Story

Brilliant piece of short by Kerri Lendo and John Merriman:

Sleep Study - watch more funny videos

Actor John Merriman had this to say about the video: "Wait, ME write a review of it? Me confused." It's good to see showbiz hasn't gone to his head!


CLICK HERE FOR THE SCOOP! Sleep Study

Three Students Dead; Doctor Wrongfully Prescribed Mt. Dew

(TBN) - Philip Shtiltborn, pediatrician, was arrested early Wednesday morning for alleged extreme malpractice.  According to police reports, the doctor recklessly prescribed local children medicinal Mountain Dew as an anti-depressant, instead of more traditional and legal FDA approved drugs. The prescriptions resulted in three preteen casualties, reported to have died from the Over-Dewing (OD).

Emasculating Your Man: A Guide to Gaining Control of Your Shit

(Kat Ramzinski) - Ladies, let's get real. See that thing looking up at you with fear in its eyes? It is not your "boyfriend." It is not your "puddin' pop." It is not your "love muffin." He is YOUR PROPERTY. He belongs to YOU. Unfortunately, sometimes your shit can forget its place.

He may attempt to run away or hide. Your shit may become argumentative and decide out of nowhere that he's the bigger, stronger entity. Maybe he'll try to find another woman to tell him what to do. BOO WHOO. Remember, you are not in this "relationship" to snuggle and love on one another! You are here to compete!

Homeless Man Discovers New Form Of Crazy

After watching this, I know what you're thinking: I'll have what he's having, but serve mine medium rare with a side of dead pigeon? De-lish! Well, at least this guy answers the age old question: how many licks does it take to get to the center of crazy?

Netflix To Stream Telenovelas In Latin America

(Tu Vez) - Move over, Jesus! Netflix is converting Latin America to streaming! The on-demand media company, whose stock dropped 5% on Tuesday, is doing what so many companies have done for years – look to Latin Americans to create a product on the cheap. ... (read full story)

9 Year Old ADHD ‘Scatter Brain’ Literally Scatters Brain

Scatter Brain

LINCOLN, Nebraska - Disaster struck Zeman Elementary school Friday afternoon, as Tanner ‘Scatter Brain’ Watts' tiny body fell off the roof of the school while attempting to chase a butterfly. Witnessing the bloody and horrific event were hundreds of fellow students and one annoyed janitor.

Where's The Brief - Bustin' Donuts

Funkin' Donuts

(TBN) - Lady of the night shift, Melissa Redmond, 29, is facing prostitution charges after allegedly servicing customers while on the clock at Dunkin' Donuts.

Police became suspicious of criminal activity when customers began reporting that a cashier was charging 50 dollars for Boston Creme Pies and to get said donuts they would have to "go around back and bring some rubbers."

Amber's Pet Of The Week - Charlie Pandaguin

Charlie "Please Kill Me" Pandaguin

(TBN) - This adorable little fellow is Charlie Pandaguin. What's that? He looks familiar? Well, you might recognize his darling face as Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny and Horrible Bosses! 

Doesn't he look so happy with his furry, snuggly Panda body; his quirky, cute webbed-flippers; and his single penguin wing?!

Here's a few facts about our loveable cuddlebug. You can't tell by the photo, but his webbed-feet are far too small to support the weight of his body. Also, his delightful hind-legs have been broken, which makes it impossible for the pandaguin to escape the clutches of your loving, misunderstood arms. 

Opinion - Lingerie Sports

Swedish Riot Cops

(TBN) - If you want my hard earned dollars, I need more bang for my bucks. That's where Lingerie Sports comes in. You're probably asking - "how do half-naked women boost consumer confidence?"

Well Curious George, by combining lingerie with football, for example, you bring together two things I know I enjoy watching: degrading oneself for money and penalties for roughing the snapper.

Child Dead, Thought Life Was TV Show When Wearing Spectacles

Horton Hears Voices

(Ryan Cownie) - Horton Walters, a thirteen year old New York resident and TV drama fanatic, was killed yesterday in a meth lab explosion in South Council Bluffs, Iowa

According to Horton's mother, the child went missing two days after being prescribed glasses to correct astigmatism. Also missing were three boxes of generic fruit snacks, his fathers 9mm pistol, and all of his parent's debit cards. Bank statements showed that multiple bus tickets to Council Bluffs were purchased using the stolen cards.

Also purchased: paint thinner, eight lbs of sugar, three boxes of Play-Doh, and 20 gallons of gasoline. Horton also appears to have purchased a trailer in Council Bluffs under the fake name "Tommy Streetwise."